What happens when our fellowship isn’t enough?

I’ve been blessed with lots of great friends. I’ve known some of them for more than 20 years. These people provide safety, support, encouragement, correction… Yet there are times when I still feel alone and unknown.

How can this be possible? What am I missing? How have i made a mistake? What should I be doing to further deepen my connections?

Sometimes, nothing can be done in these moments of isolation:

Proverbs 14:10: Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.”

For me personally, these times serve to push me into greater reliance and surrender on God. He is the one who searches our hearts and knows us fully. For me, this is a tangible expression that my human relationships, as great as they are, will never be completely satisfying.

Longing for the presence of God is the only answer, because he is the one who fills, he is the one who satisfies in a way human relationships never will.

This teaching isn’t an excuse to pull back, we must be working to love and serve one another. But at the end of the day, seeking his kingdom is what provides for all of our needs…not great relationships with other believers.

We need strong community, we need to build biblical fellowship into our lives. But not at the expense of knowing and being known by God.

What if God was the rock in my life, my fortress? When the loneliness comes, the answer is not to fill up the silence with mere noise. Instead we must run to him and rely on him more than anyTHING or anyONE else.

Where does your fellowship fall short? What do you do in these moments?

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What I love about my good buddy Josh Griffin

I’ve known Josh for almost a decade, so I figured it was past time that I post about the great character qualities I’ve seen in him:

Positive. Griff is one of the most positive people I know. To be with him is to experience his seemingly inexhaustible supply of joy. He has plenty to complain about (who doesn’t?), but he never caves to the presure says anything negative.

Funny. Griff isn’t just positive, he’s also quick to laugh and help others do the same.

Smart. Josh is brilliant…not just in finding the silver lining or as a comedic genius… He takes the time to think deeply and discern wisdom.

Encouraging. Griff lifts others up. Being with him makes you feel better about yourself.

Passionate. This is another way that Griff is impressive, he cares deeply. Many fun and funny people are superficial … Not Josh, he is deeply passionate and appropriately concerned.

Diplomatic. One trait that is sorely missing in my life! Josh has the patience to wait and speak up at the right time. He has the gentleness to say the right thing.

Loves Jesus, family, ministry. Griff has his priorities in the right order. His faith supersedes everything. He’s devoted to his wife and family, and he gives the rest to his ministry. In a world filled with selfishness, Josh has ordered his commitments in a godly way.

Shrewd. Griff is an expert when it comes to leveraging opportunity and maximizing results. He’s not just after a free meal to outback (which he wouldn’t turn down), he also looks past obstacles to achieve his goals.

Loyal friend. Griff sticks by his friends, even when it would be easier to bail.

How about you? What are some qualities you admire in your close friends?

 

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why you should love yourself (more)

Matthew 22:37-39 – “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

It’s not easy to tell someone to love themselves more…because this is usually misunderstood. Isn’t the main problem with people is pride and selfishness? “Love yourself more, because you’re not selfish enough already!” That doesn’t preach too well.

For most of us, I don’t think acting selfish is the root problem. I think we typically hate ourselves, the most important parts of who we are, too much. Hate is a strong word. I get that. Soften it up if you want. However, many of us are insecure, lacking confidence and faith because we’re haven’t accepted God’s work in our lives. We don’t resolve ourselves to accept it every day and make it a core reality of who we are. Instead, we chose a different path. We hold on to guilt, we beat ourselves up. And while we tear ourselves down on the inside, on the outside we prop up a false picture of perfection to the world.

When you look in the mirror, are you excited by what you see? When you close your eyes at night, is your heart made heavy with regret or gratefulness? Are you unshakably convinced of your personal value?

Think about the connection between loving your neighbor and loving yourself.

Your self love isn’t just a model, a “how to love others.” That is to say, in the ways that you love yourself, you ought to love others. Our self love may start as a weak and immature model, but the real model for loving others is found in Jesus. He’s the one who have his life as a ransom. He’s the one who demonstrated humility.

Loving ourselves is the fuel and foundation for loving others. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love others. Not the way God intended. Loving ourselves is the tangible acceptance of God’s redemption and grace in our lives. The necessary bridge between loving God and loving others is loving ourselves.

I know a lot of people who hate themselves. They wish for a different DNA so they can escape the hell of their current lives. This self hate seeps out of the cracks and into every thought, word, and deed.

This should not be.

In the midst of all the stupid things we do, the sins we choose, the pain we cause others, how can we possibly love ourselves? Here are a few reasons why you ought to love yourself:

(1) God loves you. (John 3:16). God’s love makes us valuable.
(2) God made you (Genesis 1:31). God doesn’t make mistakes.
(3) God sent his Son to teach, save, suffer, and die for us (See John 3:16 again). God wouldn’t waste his time.
(4) God has gifted you to do great things (Romans 12:6). We were made to do great things.

I’m sure there are a lot more reasons, but in sort, it boils down to this: God creates (and restores) value in us, how can we not value ourselves? How can we think to value others if we don’t first love ourselves?

 

 

 

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what would you communicate to parents?

As the school year comes to an end, we typically schedule a few parents meetings. I like meeting with parents, feel like we do a fair job of communicating with them through the year, but we definitely don’t have a strong parents ministry.

I know there are lots of ideas on how to make this happen… honestly, there are so many other things that need work, that building a vibrant parent ministry hasn’t made the priority list yet. I don’t feel a ton of pressure, because most of the church’s programs are geared to parents… but I’m getting off topic.

In our parents meeting, my goal is to spend two thirds of the time informing them about our ministry. I want to cover everything from a 10,000 foot view to the grass roots. I’ll take the last third of our meeting time for Questions and Answers. In all of this, I also want them to get a feel for who I am.

Anyhow, here’s the handout that I’m using this year. Feel free to use it as a spring board for your ministry and make it better!

HSM parents meeting

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